Men: They Love Cake & Eating it Too! - -Are Women to Blame?

Being a woman that's been single for basically most of my life, I've had my share of bad encounters with men. From immaturity to infidelity, I've experienced it all. Off all of my experience, I've noticed a common trend. . . Men like to have their cake, and eat it too. A lot of men verbally state that they are not looking/ready for a committed relationship, however, their actions prove different. They call and 'cupcake' on the phone, address us as "baby" and "boo", spend quality time, go out on dates etc. They do and say ALL the things that a Woman likes. . . thus leading us to believe that something more is brewing until BAM!! . . . things change. . . We (females) start to catch feelings until something occurs... either (They stop calling as much, don't pick up when you call, stop visiting or make excuses for not seeing you. . .OR, the real BIG ONE.. We catch them or discover that they are seeing another woman.) - - With all this, we have to hear that dreaded line... "Its not like you're my girl" . . . or "I told you i wasn't ready for a committed relationship..." - B.S!

So, I know many people have gone through something like this in some capacity and I just want to know, is the man to blame for leading the female on and playing the field (i.e enjoying all of the benefits of a relationship w/o having a commitment) or are women to blame for allowing ourselves to fall and be played?

Personally I've struggled with this particular issue, I've often blamed men for hurting me, betraying me, lying to me, etc. . . and while morally, I may be accurate. . . In actuality, I (and most women) are to blame. It seems like a majority of women are incredibly naive when it comes to men. We attach expectations and demands to men so quickly, failing to remember what they told us from the very first or second or third conversation that they are 'NOT LOOKING/READY TO BE IN A COMMITTED RELATIONSHIP!' - - Yet still, because he's attractive, or educated or swagged-out or spits sweet nothings in our ear. . . we forget to remember what was said. - - How do we combat this? DON'T WASTE YOUR TIME! For many women, when it comes to men. . . spending time = emotions. The more you talk to this person and see them, its only natural for feelings to develop. . .My new method, is to know my worth, know my expectations and keep it moving. If a guy says that he's not looking to be exclusive with anyone, I keep it moving. Women like to hold the expectation that they're able to change a man and mold them into what we want them to be. . . when that is NOT the case! Men are simple. Women and our emotions are what makes things complicated.

I know that I am in no way, shape or form, qualified to tell a woman how to find the right man (i.e - -IM STILL SINGLE), but I can share with you all a new plan that I've put into place, to help me sort through the good and the bad.

MZSKEEN'S TOP 10 WAYS TO FIND MR.RIGHT
1) KNOW YOUR WORTH - - Always find someone that compliments you. Sometimes opposites may not ALWAYS attract.
2) DO NOT SETTLE! - - Settling and being unhappy is worst that being single! TRUST ME!
3) LOCATION IS KEY! - - Be aware of the surroundings where you meet me. Chances are, the man yo you meet at church is different from the man that you meet at a club.
4) PAY ATTENTION TO SIGNS - - Men are simple. If they don't call, text or see you, they're probably not that into you!
5) ACTIONS SPEAK LOUDER THAN WORDS: Pay more attention to how a guys behaves and treats you, verses the things that he says to you.
6) TIMING IS KEY - - Don't rush things. remember ladies, when you first meet a guy, thats his 'representative' . . . about 3 - 6 months later the real him will slowly start to appear.
7) LAY IT ON THE LINE - - As women, we seem to think that men are psychic. We expect them to know what we want and how to treat us etc. That isn't always the case. It is up to us to say out loud what we look for in a man, a relationship and how we expect to be treated.. there is no harm in that. . . just remember, don't say TOO much. . . you don't want to tell a man what to do! (for a various reasons)
8) MAKE A MOVE - - This is the one I have the most issues with. I always expect men to make the first move. BUT men do appreciate a woman approaching them. Don't go INN!! A casual 'Hello, how are you?' 'What's your name?' will be fine. If they don't take it over from there...NEXT!
9) DROP THE BAGS - - No man wants a woman with baggage. . .particularly baggage from the past. Don't talk about your deadbeat ex, to someone that you want to be your potential ex!
10) LOVE YOURSELF! - - If you don't love you, know one will! No man wants a woman with low self-esteem! The way you feel about and treat yourself will be a guideline for your guy to in turn, know how to treat you! - CONFIDENCE IS KEY!

;-)